How to Stop Feeding Your Hungry Ghost

In Buddhism the Hungry Ghosts are depicted as teardrop shaped, with bloated stomachs and necks too thin to pass food – representing our futile attempts to feed ego patterns. We can never find satisfaction. It's like drinking salt water to quench our thirst.

Mark Epstein, in Thoughts Without a Thinker, describes our Hungry Ghosts as "searching for gratification of old unfulfilled needs whose time has passed." 

We all can feel confused and disappointed in ourselves when we haven't been able to make changes in our lives we desperately want to make. It helps immensely to recognize these hungry ghosts as unconscious patterns of beliefs and behaviors we developed as children.

Instead of trying to ignore or overcome old “bad” behavior, be mindful. Let the ghosts in with compassion and without judgment, see how they operate. This could be you: 

You: “I haven’t done as much writing this week as I’d like to. And I’ve been beating myself up about that.” 

Your compassionate self: “You wanted to do more. How did you beat yourself up? What did that look like?”

You: “Feeling uncomfortable, anxious, telling myself I’m lazy, disappointed in myself."

Your compassionate self: “So that’s been a pattern, not writing as much as you’d like, then beating yourself up. Anything else?”

You: “I feel lost in a way, like there’s no structure, no clear path for me to follow. I’ve always felt a little uneasy when I’ve only had myself to rely on.” 

Notice the lack of judgment in your compassionate self's responses. Exploring what your ghosts do and how they do it will encourage them to unveil more, bring the past into the present, and release attachments to outmoded, unnecessary patterns.